Best man speech guide
So, You’re the Best Man. No Pressure.
A great Best Man speech can make a wedding. A bad one? It can derail the night faster than an open bar and a wireless mic.
You don’t want to be that guy — rambling, awkward, maybe funny (but not in a good way), and spending the rest of the evening apologising to the bride, the groom, and Aunt Susan. Let’s not do that.
Here are a few rules to help you get it right:
⏱ Length
Keep it between 5–10 minutes. Long enough to say something meaningful, short enough to leave them wanting more (and not checking their watches).
🚫 Swearing + Innuendo
One risky joke? Sure. A speech full of swearing and sex stories? You’ll lose the room fast — and possibly your invitation to the next family gathering.
⚖️ Balance
Humour matters. But so does heart. This is a celebration — make them laugh, yes, but don’t forget the emotion behind the moment.
🙅♂️ Scripted Jokes
If you found it on page one of Google, everyone else has too. If it actually fits, fine — but don’t force it. People laugh harder when it sounds like you.
🚨 Exes
Don’t. Just... don’t. This is the hill we’re willing to die on.
If you're still stuck after this, don’t worry — you’re not alone.
Keep reading for practical tips to write your speech or get in touch if you want some backup.
writing an opening line that isn’t terrible
Let’s start strong. Your opening line sets the tone and tells the room who you are — and, more importantly, why you’ve been trusted with the mic.
Here’s how to make it count:
Start with the groom
You’re not just some guy with a story — you’ve got history. Think about what makes your friendship stand out. Was it chaos? Loyalty? Terrible fashion in the early 2000s?
Decide your vibe
Are you going for laughs? Sentiment? A bit of both? Set the tone early, so your audience knows whether they’re about to cry or cringe.
Keep it tight
This isn’t your autobiography. Get in, land the moment, and keep the speech rolling.
The Bridge (AKA: Don’t Just Jump Straight Into the Embarrassing Stories)
You’ve introduced yourself. You’ve set the tone. Now you need a smooth way into the meat of the speech — not a clunky gear change.
Here’s how to make the transition feel natural:
Nod to your connection
Give the room a quick reminder of who you are to the groom — the friend who’s seen it all, the brother who still can’t believe he’s married, the guy who’s somehow still invited to family events.
Build some intrigue
This is your moment to tease what’s coming. A story, a memory, a big laugh, a real moment — something that gets them leaning in.
Get the bridge right, and the rest of your speech flows.
The Main Body
Here’s the trick: a great Best Man speech should feel like one great story — not a random list of inside jokes. Unless you do have a killer punchline that ties everything together, stitching it all into one smooth, funny, heartfelt story is the way to go.
Think of it like this:
Pick the best parts of a few stories and shape them into one solid speech. Less ramble, more rhythm.
Here’s how to pull it off:
🧠 Choose 3–4 strong moments
Pick stories that show who the groom is — not just the chaos, but the character. Make sure they land with the whole room (not just the stag weekend crowd). Keep it funny, not filthy.
👰 Introduce the bride
Now bring in the person who changed everything. Mention how they met, your first impression of her, and what she brings out in the groom. And yes — this is the perfect time to lovingly roast him. Just keep it respectful.
❤️ Talk about their relationship
End this section with some heart. Show how the groom’s grown, how the bride makes him better (and calmer, probably), and how happy they are together.
This isn’t the time to get cheeky — be genuine, and you’ll win the room.
Closing Lines
You’ve made them laugh. Maybe even tear up. Now it’s time to wrap it up with something that actually sticks.
Your closing should pull everything together — not just fizzle out with a rushed “cheers.” Here's how to finish strong:
Circle back
Call back to something from earlier — a story, a joke, a moment. It gives your speech a full-circle feel and makes you look like you actually planned the whole thing (even if you didn’t).
Say something real
Wish the couple well — properly. Keep it heartfelt, even if the rest of your speech was pure chaos. This is your one serious moment, so lean into it.
Mean it
No over-the-top gags, no fake sentiment. Just a genuine finish that feels like you. If you’re not naturally soppy, don’t force it. Speak simply and honestly, and you’ll nail it.
Then raise that glass and let them cheer.
The Toast
The toast is the final part of your speech and a chance to celebrate the newlyweds. The toast should be simple and effective:
Keep it simple: Your toast should be short and sweet, focusing on congratulating the bride and groom.
Use uplifting language: Choose words that convey your happiness for the couple and your optimism for their future together.
Invite participation: Encourage the audience to join you in raising a glass to the newlyweds, fostering a sense of unity and celebration.
By following these steps and putting thought into each section of your best man speech, you can create a memorable and meaningful tribute to the bride and groom.
Still Stuck? Check out our Best Man Speech Writing Service:
